The Best College Lessons #1

3 semesters in, and college has already been the wildest, hardest, funnest (I know it's not a word, but it's for the sake of parallelism) time of my life. I have had my butt kicked by rejection and failure (shoutout to prelims), and I have also accomplished more than I ever expected of myself. I wanted to share the greatest lessons I've learned so far, because looking back on it, these past 3 semesters in college have changed me more than any other period in life. So the first lesson I'm sharing? Validating yourself is really hard, but if you choose to focus on it, you're going to find yourself in a much better place in life. I don't mean become some narcissist or egomaniac. Just let yourself be a priority in your life - at least from time to time. See, in high school, I wanted to be the best of the best. I wanted to do EVERYTHING, and that included helping anybody and everybody who asked me. I wanted to show that I was capable of being everybody's go-to girl, and ultimately I spent my time split between school/activities and helping people with their homework or test prep or life problems. I thought I would feel validated by being everybody's tutor or life coach or whatever. Instead, I ended up with a lot of relationships where it was clear I cared more than they did, and by the end of high school, I was probably the loneliest I had felt in a long time. I told myself in college things would be different. I would learn to say no to people who made me feel that way, and I would learn to say yes to myself when I felt I needed a break. Freshman year I focused a lot on getting myself back on track with myself. And right now, I think my next goal is to learn to not seek validation even from those I really love and care about. You can hear a compliment a million times from a million people, but if you don't believe it within yourself, those compliments are just meaningless words. As a result of shifting my focus, I've become surrounded with the most amazing people in college. My friends in college who make me laugh all the time and are always there to listen to me. My PSP brothers (frat life!) who wouldn't hesitate for a moment to ask me if I'm okay. The support I've received has given me more confidence, and as an ironic result, I feel more capable of taking things on. I don't hesitate to help them out and give back to them, but this time it's not an uneven relationship. I've grown really proud of myself and I acknowledge the good things I've done (at least sometimes, but we'll get there). When it comes to my recovery or academics, I am very proud of myself and I don't feel ashamed to say that now. It's not an easy thing to approve of yourself, especially in college when you're surrounded by what seems like the smartest people in the entire world. I still struggle all the time to be content with myself and my life. But in even just focusing more on it, I've created an atmosphere for myself that is full of support and love and I've grown the ability to say I know who I am and I'm pretty freakin' proud of it. 2019 - self validation is all we need !!!